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1. & 2. Well, Esme is a French name. Dutch is a lot closer to French than English, and I had French classes, and I can tell that in France it is pronounced es-MAY. And Esmé is a male name. Esmée or Esmee is the female form of the name. An extra 'e' is often used in French for the female form of a name or word. Aimé and Aimée is the same story. Of course it is possible that this is not the most common pronunciation in the USA, but I don't know about that.
3. I don't think es-mee is legimate, not even in the USA, but again I am not sure.
4. Esme (Esmé) and Esmee (Esmée) are pronounced the same way in France
5. I kind of like Esme Sunniva