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I have a similar problem concerning family names and "untraditional" spellings. My sister's name is Candis (after our aunt, both spelled the same way...and I honestly think our grandparents just didn't know how to spell it 'correctly', no joke). I want to use it as a mn, but I refuse to spell it any other way than Candis because my sister's name is not Candice or Candace, ya know? But that's as a mn, so it's not as big of an ordeal, I think. So maybe you could use Saydee, but as a mn? Otherwise, I would suggest spelling it Sadie, only because of the headaches it would cause her, but I can understand wanting to be true to your grandmother's name, etc. :-/ *sigh*

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A couple of suggestions:
Dora Saydee
Dorothea "Thea" Saydee
Helena Saydee

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Hope that helps. :)