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Is it possible that she didn't realize just how much she hated Nate until after he was named Nathan and people started calling him Nate? I don't think Nate is so terrible, but it is a matter of taste. I also find it presumptuous for people to call him Nate without being asked to or at the very least hearing his parents call him so first.
I've known Michaels and Daniels whose name was never shortened, a nickname isn't inevitable.

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I'm in a similar situation, actually. My step mother insists on calling my daughter, Cecily, "CeeCee". I never realized just how much I detest that nickname until she started using it. It makes my skin crawl everytime I hear it.