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Hm. I like the name Demetria tons, and really hate Demi. If I were to use it, I would have to call her Mia or Deitra, basically all of the time, and from the start, just to be sure to preempt Demi. I think that if I could not use a preemptive nickname I really liked, and I hated all the nicknames terribly, I'd just not use the name.

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I feel the same as you about Madeline and Maddie. There are a lot of names I like the nicknames for, but not the longer names. Not very many that are the other way around. I guess Francis too - I struck it from our list because my husband seemed to feel it was not masculine, and he would have become a Frank or Frankie. I think those are cute enough, but I am not comfy with them. So, goodby to Francis. =(

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Anyway, the most control you're ever going to have is over what YOU call her. She'll be in control otherwise. So yeah, I think you probably have to rule these names out if the nicknames are really that much against your grain. But you could name her an un-nickable long name, and she might still manage to earn or derive a nickname that she preferred and you hated. My daughter calls herself Peggy all the time and I have no idea where she got it, it has nothing to do with her name (and she doesn't dislike her own name, either). It drives me up the wall, but what can you do.