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I pretty much agree with you, but I don't think Haven is awful. It has a nice meaning and isn't spelled weirdly. And since your sister's friend isn't family, then I don't see much of an issue with Aven and Haven being similar (btw, I prefer Haven). The two names will probably get mixed up for you and your sister, but that's about it.

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Lily and Haven are kind of cute together. Yes, they're different but not too bad.

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