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I'd shoot my parents, join Witness Protection and change my name if I was named Ethel. If I was Gladys I'd go by my middle name, making one up if I had to, but wouldn't shoot my parents.

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"It's one thing to be open-minded and quite another to be so open-minded your brains fall out."--Dear Abby
"Let other people push you around, and you deserve whatever bad things happen after that."--Lauren Bacall