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Help[Opinions] How can I reduce excessive worry about name associations?
In fact, I only noticed very obvious name associations, like Adolf, Alexa, Dick, Donald, Elvis, Fanny, Hillary. but after joining this site and learning about the associations, I realized that I may have been overly insensitive to name associations. But I feel like I'm starting to worry too much about names that have association but isn't obvious or names that have association but isn't currently relevant.
(Edit - I've edited the title for clarity)
(Edit - I've definitely been overthinking name associations lately, and it's gotten worse as time goes by. So, I'm going to re-examine my thoughts on Jeffrey and other names that I'm currently overthinking or starting to overthinking about associations. So for the time being, I won't be looking at comments sections, namesakes, or posts about negative associations/"ruined" names.)
(Edit - I've edited the title for clarity)
(Edit - I've definitely been overthinking name associations lately, and it's gotten worse as time goes by. So, I'm going to re-examine my thoughts on Jeffrey and other names that I'm currently overthinking or starting to overthinking about associations. So for the time being, I won't be looking at comments sections, namesakes, or posts about negative associations/"ruined" names.)
This message was edited 4/9/2024, 11:21 PM
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I think you've answered your own question! That kind of association is always going to be personal: sadly, some people regard Adolf as a suitable name for a person they admire. Some people would think naming a child Elvis would be close to sacrilege, but others would happily give the name to a chihuahua. Fanny and Dick are probably to be avoided, but you might easily meet someone with a distinguished Fanny or Dick ancestor whom they are proud and happy to be named after.
Also, I don't know where you live, but here in South Africa we do get some American TV shows etc, but I don't watch them, so a lot of the name associations that people identify on this site mean nothing at all to me. Which doesn't bother me one bit. And when people say something like 'I could never use the name Mary because there was a horrible character with that name in a radio serial in the 1930s', I can't take them seriously. Serial killers are different, but even they get forgotten.
Also, I don't know where you live, but here in South Africa we do get some American TV shows etc, but I don't watch them, so a lot of the name associations that people identify on this site mean nothing at all to me. Which doesn't bother me one bit. And when people say something like 'I could never use the name Mary because there was a horrible character with that name in a radio serial in the 1930s', I can't take them seriously. Serial killers are different, but even they get forgotten.
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Thank you. I'm in Korea.
This message was edited 4/9/2024, 5:15 AM
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My daughter took a gap year and taught Grade 1 and 2 English in a South Korean school. She loved it!
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especially ...
If those serial killers have ordinary-sounding and common names, which lots of them do.
If those serial killers have ordinary-sounding and common names, which lots of them do.
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True. The only one that sticks in my throat is the wife - Primrose! - of a notorious doctor in the UK who used to murder his elderly female patients, go through their possessions, steal their jewellery and take it home to Primrose, who didn't hesitate to wear it. But, I'd never in my right mind name anybody Primrose in the first place. Maybe a hamster.
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I agree, Primrose is gross. I wouldn't even name a hamster that. (I wouldn't name a hamster anything, because I don't like them at all.)
Most serial killers are really only disstinctive name-wise when it comes to their last names anyway.
Most serial killers are really only disstinctive name-wise when it comes to their last names anyway.
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You probably are right in thinking you are starting to worry too much about names that may have an ever more obscure association. Nor would that association be the same for everyone as pointed out. My association with Jeffery is my cousin, a lovely man, my go to for Dick is Richard Winter, a WWII hero, and Donald is a duck, and always will be. It's also true that some create and hold association others either have no idea or no care about, I am constantly seeing people shoot down names because for them personally it reminds them of a scary cartoon, a weird song, or a local celeb. With the possible exception of Adolf, I'd suggest no name is irritrevible. The more these names are used imo the more difuse are bad associations. Everyone will always have their list of bad names, but it will never be universal, it's far too subjective.
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Thank you.
This message was edited 4/9/2024, 5:16 AM
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You're definitely overthinking things. Maybe you need a break from constantly reading about and thinking about names? My advice is first to stop browsing things like Reddit and the comments section on this site.
Jeffrey is so common, and has been borne by so many people before and since Dahmer, that only his last name (which I doubt anyone ever considered for a fn anyway) should be so closely associated with him. Ditto Donald, actually.
Names like Adolf and Elvis are considerably more unusual in English-speaking places, and there are far fewer associations people are likely to have. There's Hitler and Eichmann, but beyond those two most people aren't going to be able to think of any other Adolfs. I can only think of a couple offhand that anyone might know: one of the founders of Adidas was Adolf, but this is not something you know unless you run across it in a trivia book as I did. And Adolph Coors of the beer company. Again, not very well-known.
Elvis has gotten some more use, nearly always as a direct homage to Presley. I don't find the Presley association to be negative, but I dislike the sound and look of the name Elvis and the fact it's so totally associated with just one famous person.
Same goes for Aretha. Nothing negative about Aretha Franklin, but too closely associated.
Jeffrey is so common, and has been borne by so many people before and since Dahmer, that only his last name (which I doubt anyone ever considered for a fn anyway) should be so closely associated with him. Ditto Donald, actually.
Names like Adolf and Elvis are considerably more unusual in English-speaking places, and there are far fewer associations people are likely to have. There's Hitler and Eichmann, but beyond those two most people aren't going to be able to think of any other Adolfs. I can only think of a couple offhand that anyone might know: one of the founders of Adidas was Adolf, but this is not something you know unless you run across it in a trivia book as I did. And Adolph Coors of the beer company. Again, not very well-known.
Elvis has gotten some more use, nearly always as a direct homage to Presley. I don't find the Presley association to be negative, but I dislike the sound and look of the name Elvis and the fact it's so totally associated with just one famous person.
Same goes for Aretha. Nothing negative about Aretha Franklin, but too closely associated.
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Thank you.
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Perhaps you worry about it because the names are from a culture you're not fully familiar with, and you recognize that it's possible you don't understand the implications and consequences of certain names? I would probably worry about that too if I was really into names from another culture. I ask my husband (who is born and raised in Spain) about this stuff all the time, how certain names are used in Spain, and I'm often surprised by what he tells me.
I think it's good that you ask about things, and - this will sounds silly, but - don't worry that you worry, lol! It's ok to be unsure and ask questions, that's how you learn things. And if people say "don't worry about that" it's not meant as a criticism, but as reassurance.
Something to keep in mind is that usually, there aren't many hard rules about names and associations in English speaking culture, especially in North America, because people here love doing and thinking whatever they want. If you think you've found a name that everyone loves, you're wrong. And if you think there's a name everyone hates, you're probably wrong too! There will probably be people who think it's a fine name. It's confusing and I don't blame you for being worried about getting it wrong!
Also, think about the reasons you are using the name. If it's for a story, or a pet, or just for general interest and putting it on a list, then you don't have to worry at all. If you're naming an actual human baby, then it makes sense to be more thorough about gathering information. But most of the time? Don't worry about it :)
I think it's good that you ask about things, and - this will sounds silly, but - don't worry that you worry, lol! It's ok to be unsure and ask questions, that's how you learn things. And if people say "don't worry about that" it's not meant as a criticism, but as reassurance.
Something to keep in mind is that usually, there aren't many hard rules about names and associations in English speaking culture, especially in North America, because people here love doing and thinking whatever they want. If you think you've found a name that everyone loves, you're wrong. And if you think there's a name everyone hates, you're probably wrong too! There will probably be people who think it's a fine name. It's confusing and I don't blame you for being worried about getting it wrong!
Also, think about the reasons you are using the name. If it's for a story, or a pet, or just for general interest and putting it on a list, then you don't have to worry at all. If you're naming an actual human baby, then it makes sense to be more thorough about gathering information. But most of the time? Don't worry about it :)
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Thank you.
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It just depends on where you live and what sticks out to you or most people.
Most people wouldn't think "Jeffrey Dahmer" when they meet someone named Jeffrey.
Alexa and Hillary are common names and very usable.
If you want a name with zero associations, you'd have to make up a completely new name that no one has ever heard before, which is almost impossible if you also want the name to be usable. Any name that's been around for a while will always have a past. It's up to you to decide what you think is a dealbreaker.
Also, even if you do find a name without any obvious associations you'd want to avoid, you could name your kid that and then 5 years later someone else with that name is in the news for something. You can't predict what names will be culturally relevant for good or bad reasons in the future.
Most people wouldn't think "Jeffrey Dahmer" when they meet someone named Jeffrey.
Alexa and Hillary are common names and very usable.
If you want a name with zero associations, you'd have to make up a completely new name that no one has ever heard before, which is almost impossible if you also want the name to be usable. Any name that's been around for a while will always have a past. It's up to you to decide what you think is a dealbreaker.
Also, even if you do find a name without any obvious associations you'd want to avoid, you could name your kid that and then 5 years later someone else with that name is in the news for something. You can't predict what names will be culturally relevant for good or bad reasons in the future.
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Thank you.
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Try to focus on why you love a name. Scarlett may not always paint the best picture, but I try to ignore negative comments on it. It didn’t stop me from naming my book’s main character that. I hope of having a daughter with this name one day. Will it make everyone happy? No. Will it make me happy? Yes. Will my daughter hate me forever for picking the name? Maybe, but probably not. Basically, if it’s a minor association, then you should go with it. Should you name your kid Adolf? Never.
Name your kid the name you dream of. Or a book character. Or a pet. Or whatever. It’s your choice.
Name your kid the name you dream of. Or a book character. Or a pet. Or whatever. It’s your choice.
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Thank you.
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