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(Trigger warning: Abuse briefly talked about but not in-detail)

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So, since I have been on a break from school this week and have an additional week off, I wanted to use this time to begin work on my long-desired memoir. I'm actually quite contented to have gotten the first two chapters in; that's a fairly good start.

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As some on here are aware, I have a very complicated relationship with my older sister, who plays an integral part in my story and my trauma history, unfortunately. Several people will have changed names for privacy's sake in case I ever want to seek publication. (However slim that may be, but to be frank, I think I have a fairly wild story if you've ever heard me talk about it in my lounge posts.) With that said, I don't want to use either of my sisters' true names for the story. I have already selected my younger sister's, which I feel suits both her original vibe and is different enough to not be immediately recognizable. However, I still get a bit stuck on my elder sister's alternative name. Nothing else seems to quite capture it the way her true name does.

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My older sister is a Christine (though she has been "Christina" as well and has used both at different times in her life). I have considered "Jessica" and occasionally "Samantha" as fill-in alternatives that have similar vibes to what I am going for, but I am not married to the ideas.

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For context to better set the stage: My elder sister is a strawberry blonde, sort of leaning redhead, with a small nose, small blue eyes, and freckles. She is somewhat plain looking in appearance but not unattractive. Some of the things I intend to explore include how we were closer as children, but not as overtly close as you would assume for siblings 2.5 years apart. Her personality was marked by an extreme leaning into hyper femininity, influenced by our very religious early life. She was obsessed with Disney princess lore well into her late teens and early 20s (and still might be, as we lost contact). Her favorite was Belle from Beauty and the Beast. She loved wearing old-fashioned, modest dresses, some she sewed herself, and especially loved girly pastels, with pastel yellow being her favorite. She clung to religion and Christianity like a lifeline in our chaotic and perilous childhood and adolescence. Unfortunately, she also used it as an excuse to administer abusive behavior on myself and others, and could be incredibly cruel during her worst moments. Think "pretense of hyper girly, and garishly giggly and sweet in public, but with an incredibly dark and malicious side she hides until she is behind closed doors."

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She was named "Christine" after the Stephen King movie "Christine" from the 80s, but it is also supposed to be a nod to Christianity itself.

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Also worth noting: Though unintentionally on my end, "Christine" is the variant I often refer to her when regarding to her darker tendencies, but "Christina" was what I would call her when I was small, and is also still what I refer to her as when talking about happier memories and warmer regards. Perhaps there is a variant element to this worth exploring in the ideas?

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What name(s) do you feel I should use? Thank you for your time.

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Please rate my "Names I would Use" list & "Backup Favorites" list. Feel free to rate some of my other lists too if you have the time.
https://www.behindthename.com/pnl/223226/138473