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In my family we all have a nn but most of us also go by our full name (for eg, I am called Lisey a lot and answer to it all the time, but I am also called Elise occasionally by my family and always at school etc). You could call him Tommy at home, as well as occasionally Thomas so you don't have to give up the full name in order to use the nn idea.

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Another example is my little brother Anthony who is "Ant" or "Anty" pretty much 100% of the time at home unless someone isn't happy with him. But among his friends and at school he is 100% Anthony.