I actually like the KAHR-mee-an pronunciation much better than the SHAHR-mee-an one. I think it's lovely and much better than
Charmaine (which has always seemed rather trashy to me). I've never known a
Charmian and I do think people would often think it's actually suppsosed to be Charmain(e)
Unfortunately, it also reminds me of toilet paper ("Charmin").