BOYS
January -- I hate this on a girl. On a boy, it's worse.
Attican Skywalker -- Dad likes
Star Wars, Mom likes To Kill A Mockingbird.
Jamie Massachusetts -- well, all the other dumb place names were taken!
Ashley Curtis -- a failed attempt to bring back a name that used to be masculine
Prince Sebastian Xavier Eugene -- To The Parents This
May Concern: making your kid's name obnoxiously long and adding a prefix does not, in fact, make your child royalty. Take it up with HRH when you get the chance.
Circe Matos -- Yeah. Name your son after a woman who turns people into pigs. Nice.
Pratt Packer --
He packs annoying idiots into little boxes and ships them far, far away.
Phox
Martin -- Mom is a gardener. Dad is a wildlife enthusiast.
GIRLS
Kricket
Nicole -- From trashy to tryndeigh!
Tigger
Lily -- You have officially ruined
Winnie The Pooh for your daughter. Congratulations.
Orange
Blossom -- fiddler parents wanted their daughter to be special! :-D
Perri
Diane -- I really like this
Laurel Anne -- ditto
Isabellar
Unity -- ah. Because
Isabella would have been too common?
Remedy
Rain -- the way to do this is to move to the desert.
Pixeigh
Lee -- No. No one will EVER guess you were going for Pixie.
Waverly
Renee -- as in wavelength?
JamesCaleJoeyBrandonConnor -- all five of the above (with the exception of the misspelled vegetable) need to go right back to the boys' side.
Loyalty
Liberty -- she will have neither of these (the loyalty being to the idiots who named her)
Pixie
Rosa -- what is with the mythical creature thing?
Precious Purity -- something you lost the moment little P.P. was conceived.
True
Star -- not a fake one like all the other kids!
Daysy Jynx -- you've definitely jynxed this little flour... oops. sorry. Did I misspell something too?
Canoe Waterfall &
Meadow Prairie -- I knew a girl named Prairie
Wolfe... I thought that was obnoxiously hippie until I saw this.
SIBLINGS:
Chanel Catherine, Armani
Ralph, Gucci
Evelyn, Prada Kytlyn,
Giorgio Walter, and Coutoure
Deidre -- There is nothing I can do to fix this, and that thought makes me want to cry.
I don't have the time or energy or willpower to fix the critique the rest of these atrocities. AAAAAAAGH