GIRLS
Angelus Ardelle -- By "Angelus," do you mean "angel us," meaning throw angels at us? I'm confused.
Gay R. -- You SO didn't just slaughter your daughter's social life.
Kenya Siera -- Actually, it's the
SAVANNAH, not the
SIERRA, but I wouldn't expect you to know that.
Zipporah Deangel -- No,
Zipporah was human.
Xub
Liam -- Backwards, it's almost "mail box"
Autumn &
Winter Y. -- I can almost see a competition starting... "my season is better than yours!"
Emmercyn
Rose -- Still means "son of."
Thaise Rogers -- They is Rogers. We is Richards.
Leela Wiya Waste'
Susan Kay -- Yeah, why waste all that space on a birth certificate where you could just be stacking annoying names?
Christopher Columbus -- BAHAHAHAHAHA. Wow. He'll
LOVE history class.
Jaw
Shawn Walter -- What? Chew on
Shawn Walter?
King Elishah
Michael -- Actually, neither
Elisha nor
Michael were kings. But I wouldn't expect YOU to know that.
Azariah Hungerford -- Baby talk: "
Azariah hungry for carrots? Ooh, look at ickle carrots!
Azariah want eat carrots?"
Reese Wrigley -- Chocolate and gum. Was she conceived in the back of a convenience store?
Laiken
Lashay -- I'm not liking
Lashay.
Vanity
Ann -- Hi, my name is
Ann. I'd like a name change, please.
Knehemiah
Alexander -- Because K is just so stylish these days, you just CAN'T leave it off!
Malachi Isaac London Blue Leyva -- Biblical meets trendy meets girly meets I don't know what.
Aleczavior
David Moreira -- Nice to meet you,
Dave.
Redd Morningsun -- Born at midnight
Alijiah
Eli Gable
Junior -- Is there actually more than one (gulp) or did they just feel like throwing in ANOTHER middle name?
Emerson James -- I feel like I've seen so many female
Emerson Jameses that this is now weird. What a sad world.
Takota Snow -- It snows plenty... in the Dakotas.
Fisher Ridge -- Where the grandparents retired.
Caige
Lynn -- Okay! [locks between metal bars]
Jacobie
Jay -- You realize you don't actually HAVE to state the nickname on the birth certificate...
Rhodes
Emerson -- Jonesing for a scholarship, are we?