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I read that this morning, and that Birdie Mae was born weighing ten pounds thirteen ounces. They should have called her Big Bird. Jesus, that is a monstrously huge baby.

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All the names suck big-time. Ace Knute sounds like "a snoot." Maxwell Drew is so aggressively a male name it's not even ambisexual. And Birdie Mae sounds like some hillbilly in a sunbonnet and long skinny legs and no shoes. Birdie Mae is in the privy now but she'll slop the hogs when she gets out.

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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes!
Steve Martin