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Help[Opinions] Valentin (with transgender intent)
I won't lie, I've only ever used these message boards as a joke. However, I would genuinely like someone's opinion on this. I've been looking for a male French name to replace my extremely French middle name (which is sandwiched between an extremely French first name and extremely French last name), since going with the theme seems to be the only way to make things sound decent. My first name is Amelie and I want to begin to present and introduce myself as a man, but don't think I want to entirely get rid of my first name for logistical reasons. So, I thought I'd change my middle name and go by that in social contexts, if not legal contexts. Is Valentin a decent name, do yall think? I feel like a bit of a dumbass going from one insane to pronounce name to another, but most male French names are swagless at best and this is the only one I've found acceptable so far. If yall came across a Valentin in the wild (I live in the US and have not met a Valentin before), what would you think? I would also love suggestions, if anyone has any. I've been looking for names that are masculine enough but pretty romantic; whether that romance skews towards a classier vibe or that of a lone cowboy roaming the wild I don't really care. I contain multitudes and while few of them actually have it, all of them would like to have that sort of bravado. Thanks everyone!
If you're here to say something transphobic I don't particularly care but I'd like to ask if you don't have anything better to do with your time. What the hell do you care.
If you're here to say something transphobic I don't particularly care but I'd like to ask if you don't have anything better to do with your time. What the hell do you care.
This message was edited 8/11/2023, 1:18 AM
Archived Thread - replies disabled
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Replies
I've never met a Valentin but I'd think it was cool. Val is a simple nickname and Valentin definitely fits "French and romantic".
But I think the paperwork will only be more confusing if you keep Amelie. It's a girly name and people will be confused, even if it's just on paper. Émile is somewhat similar, masculine, and French. Amal / Amel is also a boys name but with a different origin.
My sister is trans and she wanted to keep her birth name at first, but it just influenced everyone to call her by the wrong pronouns until she changed it. Even if it's just on paper and you don't go by it, people will be reading it out loud in various situations and it will be confusing. The change is not that hard, you'll already be going through the legal hassle of changing your first name and your gender marker, so might as well get it over with and change the first name too. People change their names all the time; you just need to carry a bit of extra paperwork to prove you're the same person as before but it's worth it.
If you want to keep Amelie for sentimental reasons, maybe use it as a second middle name or part of a hyphenated thing (like how Jean-Marie is a French boys name but Marie is a girl name by itself. I know Marie is kind of a special case but it could still work).
I also like these French names:
Achille
Alexandre
Antoine
Armand
Aurélien
Bastien
Célestin
Christophe
Corentin (Coren for short)
But I think the paperwork will only be more confusing if you keep Amelie. It's a girly name and people will be confused, even if it's just on paper. Émile is somewhat similar, masculine, and French. Amal / Amel is also a boys name but with a different origin.
My sister is trans and she wanted to keep her birth name at first, but it just influenced everyone to call her by the wrong pronouns until she changed it. Even if it's just on paper and you don't go by it, people will be reading it out loud in various situations and it will be confusing. The change is not that hard, you'll already be going through the legal hassle of changing your first name and your gender marker, so might as well get it over with and change the first name too. People change their names all the time; you just need to carry a bit of extra paperwork to prove you're the same person as before but it's worth it.
If you want to keep Amelie for sentimental reasons, maybe use it as a second middle name or part of a hyphenated thing (like how Jean-Marie is a French boys name but Marie is a girl name by itself. I know Marie is kind of a special case but it could still work).
I also like these French names:
Achille
Alexandre
Antoine
Armand
Aurélien
Bastien
Célestin
Christophe
Corentin (Coren for short)
This message was edited 8/12/2023, 11:00 PM
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That is really good to know! It's good to hear that perspective of how it actually logistically works, keeping the first name, since most of the trans people in my life transitioned in their early teens (which is surreal to think about. What modern times we live in!) and weren't thinking about the logistics in this way. Changing the first name too would allow me to venture a bit further outside of French if I wanted to as well, since the main thing keeping me there is the terrible sandwich of first and last that makes anything non French sound insane. And THANK YOU for the names!! Wow! That's one helluva list you've given me, and I appreciate it quite a lot
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I'm not sure I follow your reasoning: you are transitioning to male but keeping Amelie as your first name? Wouldn't it make more sense to select an A- name, perhaps Arthur or Adrien, or even just Adrian, and by all means go by your nice new mn but keep gender consistency? I don't enjoy Valentin(e) at all, but that's because of February 14 more than the name itself. Romantic, perhaps, but mostly just commercialised.
I'm sorry that you find it necessary to pre-empt people's possible hostile reactions to your situation. I have never seen evidence of homophobia, transphobia or whatever on these boards, and I don't expect to. You might consider waiting for something to react to, and then express your perfectly justifiable displeasure, rather than jumping the gun.
I'm sorry that you find it necessary to pre-empt people's possible hostile reactions to your situation. I have never seen evidence of homophobia, transphobia or whatever on these boards, and I don't expect to. You might consider waiting for something to react to, and then express your perfectly justifiable displeasure, rather than jumping the gun.
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I mainly just plan on keeping my first name the same for paperwork reasons, honestly. Seems there'll be a bit less to deal with if it's just the middle name, and I figure going by my middle name instead of first isn't too weird of a thing to do. Like how people go by initials or nicknames or last names in social settings, full names for documents and more important things. We'll see, if I like it/some other name I find enough I might just scrap the middle name and replace the first. I definitely don't plan on getting anything legally changed for a good while!
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I think Valentin is an awesome name! And Val is a sweet nickname if you want one. I’d assume it was pronounced Val-in-tin, however I am not in America or France. I’d be super excited if I met a Valentin in real life, to be honest.
If you’re still looking for more suggestions, then I think Hugo, Victor, Augustin, Alessio, Ismaël, Maxence and Alexandre could work, though I dont see any problem with Valentin.
I agree with ari, your writing style is awesome!
If you’re still looking for more suggestions, then I think Hugo, Victor, Augustin, Alessio, Ismaël, Maxence and Alexandre could work, though I dont see any problem with Valentin.
I agree with ari, your writing style is awesome!
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That's lovely to hear. It's very much so a balancing act of choosing something cool, but not choosing something insane. Thank you for the suggestions, I appreciate it!!
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If it's pronounced Vallen-Teen like most Americans would say it, it's fine.
It'd have a pseud-y feel, imo, as the name of an American who talks like an American. I'd suspect it was a self-name.
But you need not mind that necessarily, esp since you say you are looking for a name with swag.
Valentin formally or on paper, Val to friends, seems like it would do the trick.
It's timed right. I bet nobody would think it seemed mundane or ugly.
Or even difficult. Valentin "Vallen-teen" is actually easier for me to say than Amelie.
However, if someone is apparently an American and talks like one, and lives where fluent French speakers are infrequent and come from elsewhere - but introduces himself to other Americans as Valentin-pronounced-in-French (or attempting the French prn), and insists on that pronunciation ... I would feel like, 'Please just stop.' I might start just calling him Lestat instead. I can approximate French Amelie okay-enough, but Valentin would be next level, I'd need lessons.
It'd have a pseud-y feel, imo, as the name of an American who talks like an American. I'd suspect it was a self-name.
But you need not mind that necessarily, esp since you say you are looking for a name with swag.
Valentin formally or on paper, Val to friends, seems like it would do the trick.
It's timed right. I bet nobody would think it seemed mundane or ugly.
Or even difficult. Valentin "Vallen-teen" is actually easier for me to say than Amelie.
However, if someone is apparently an American and talks like one, and lives where fluent French speakers are infrequent and come from elsewhere - but introduces himself to other Americans as Valentin-pronounced-in-French (or attempting the French prn), and insists on that pronunciation ... I would feel like, 'Please just stop.' I might start just calling him Lestat instead. I can approximate French Amelie okay-enough, but Valentin would be next level, I'd need lessons.
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See this is what I worry about! I figure it's not too much worse than my name is currently, I have to tell people how to pronounce my name all the time and that's just because my parents were huge nerds. I don't intend to be a dick about the pronunciation anyway. I feel like if I met someone who were to insist on full French pronunciation accent and everything I'd think they were insane too
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I like Valentin! How would you be pronouncing it in English? VAL-en-tin? VAL-en-teen?
However, I do think a lot of English speakers will mistake it for a girls’ name, or at least an androgynous one.
Some random romantic French male names:
Raphaël / Raphael — I love this for you! Firmly masculine but definitely romantic IMO, and unlikely to cause pronunciation issues.
Adrien (definitely more androgynous though)
Aurelien / Aurélien (also androgynous-ish but way cool)
Calixte (ditto)
Benoît (keeping with the theme of pronunciation problems)
Ambrose — ok so this is not actually French but I don’t like Ambroise
Émilien — I seriously love this name and want someone to use it. Definitely prone to pronunciation and gender issues, though. Oh, and wouldn’t work with Amelie at all. But I’m leaving it on the list because it’s awesome.
Léandre
Philippe
Elouan — this one is new to me and I kind of dig it
Olivier
However, I do think a lot of English speakers will mistake it for a girls’ name, or at least an androgynous one.
Some random romantic French male names:
Raphaël / Raphael — I love this for you! Firmly masculine but definitely romantic IMO, and unlikely to cause pronunciation issues.
Adrien (definitely more androgynous though)
Aurelien / Aurélien (also androgynous-ish but way cool)
Calixte (ditto)
Benoît (keeping with the theme of pronunciation problems)
Ambrose — ok so this is not actually French but I don’t like Ambroise
Émilien — I seriously love this name and want someone to use it. Definitely prone to pronunciation and gender issues, though. Oh, and wouldn’t work with Amelie at all. But I’m leaving it on the list because it’s awesome.
Léandre
Philippe
Elouan — this one is new to me and I kind of dig it
Olivier
This message was edited 8/11/2023, 11:45 AM
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I was thinking something along the lines of val-anh-tahn, but not particularly accented. It's kinda like how with Amelie I've gotten used to saying it pretty fast and without accent and it starts to kind of lose the overdramatic nature of French (a little bit. Not that much but a little bit). The more I think about it the more okay I am with other pronunciations anyway, there's a lot of different variants from different places. Val-en-teen is also quite nice. I figure all pronunciations of it are recognizable enough that I could at least get the gist if someone were to call it in a waiting room or something. That is so kind of you to list all those names!! Aurelien feels like a lot but it DOES kick ass. Thank you for finding those I appreciate it :)
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I'm enchanted by your writing style. Valentin is fantastic, I'd love to meet one.
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Oh that's sweet of you! I don't know what it is about sending messages into the unknown of the internet, I feel like I need to entertain. I'm glad you think it's a fun name too.
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"I've been looking for names that are masculine enough but pretty romantic;"
That's the impression Valentin gives me! It's masculine but not overbearingly so and - at least to me - it feels charming and classy. I like it.
The only problem is, it's gonna get mispronounced a lot. I don't know how one would pronounce the nasal "n" sound in English? Unless you choose to go with the "tin" (like in tin can) pronunciation.
That's the impression Valentin gives me! It's masculine but not overbearingly so and - at least to me - it feels charming and classy. I like it.
The only problem is, it's gonna get mispronounced a lot. I don't know how one would pronounce the nasal "n" sound in English? Unless you choose to go with the "tin" (like in tin can) pronunciation.
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I agree with Nights and Magpie, I think Valentin is a really good name!
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I agree with this. I think Valentin is a fine French name.
An option which might not have been considered is looking for names which are used by French-born citizens which are not actually French. There might be some names there that fit despite that.
Another option is looking for the user-submitted French names. Some names are not in the database yet - just look at the France 2022 data; Nahël, Télio and Maëlo are not in the databse, yet there they are being used.
But this is of course an option to look into if the potential if mispronunciation bothers you.
If it does not, go with Valentin if you like it enough :)
Although I will suggest to go by your potential new name in online contexts first before adopting it in real-life social situations. I've seen many people do this so that they can get a feel for the new name, and easily replace it if it does not fit.
Good luck!
An option which might not have been considered is looking for names which are used by French-born citizens which are not actually French. There might be some names there that fit despite that.
Another option is looking for the user-submitted French names. Some names are not in the database yet - just look at the France 2022 data; Nahël, Télio and Maëlo are not in the databse, yet there they are being used.
But this is of course an option to look into if the potential if mispronunciation bothers you.
If it does not, go with Valentin if you like it enough :)
Although I will suggest to go by your potential new name in online contexts first before adopting it in real-life social situations. I've seen many people do this so that they can get a feel for the new name, and easily replace it if it does not fit.
Good luck!
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That's a very good idea to circumvent this naming corner I've been backed into by my parents, I will check those out. Hilariously, we're not even that French; I'm more French on my mother's side, if anything. Thank you for your advice :)!
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You're welcome! I hope it helps :)
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